Ever wondered how to really stand out on your next trip abroad? You probably shouldn't take this seriously but here are a just a few tips to do just that.
Did I mention you probably shouldn't take this seriously?
1. Wear your camera around your neck: I don't just mean for short periods of time when having to pull it out and put it back can be tiresome. I mean wear it like a necklace everywhere you go. The supermarket, the train, crossing the street… Hell even when eating at the local fast food shop, you just never know what's going to go down at Maccy Ds so best play it safe, right?
Extra points for sleeping with your camera around your neck.
2. Wear a loud shirt: Wearing a loud shirt is bold and makes a bold statement. People will "appreciate" your efforts to be bold so much that they will quickly move away from you. Your boldness is clearly something so powerful that others must step back to admire it from a distance.
Extra points for pairing it with a freshly washed pair of pocket-riddled cargo pants.
3. Take two extra large suitcases wherever you go: For anyone with two fully functional upper limbs this is must. Having just one suitcase, or heaven forbid a backpack, will not nearly be testimony to the amount of things you brought along but don't actually need and likely won't find any use for. Just think how much upper body strength you will build when you have to lug those babies up a flight of stairs when the elevator's out of order.
Extra points for taking the maximum carry on allowance in addition to this.
4. Always packs at least one item you know you won't need: Sure you should bring your gloves and beanie to Hawai'i. The icecubes at Taco Bell can be pretty damn cold you know. Better still if you bring your trunks along to go skiing as well.
Extra points for placing your head under the ice machine at Taco Bell and putting that beanie to good use!
5. Always travel in a tour group: Even if you are going to a place where you speak the language quite fluently. Nothing suffices like knowing you are part of a whole group of people who stand out like sore thumbs. Ideally you should aim for a tour agency that supplies you with a company branded name tag so other people know who to send you back to.
Extra points if people point and laugh at you or succeed in selling you something for well over the market value.
Well, sadly that's it for now. Sincerely hope you disuse this information for your next adventure. Happy trails to you wherever you may be.
Lot's of touristic love,